Sunday, July 28, 2013

WARNING: Do not be swayed by a pretty face...

It was one fine Sunday afternoon during the summer as I hurried towards the bus stop on St.Aldates Street, oblivious of the hustle and bustle around me. During this time of year, Oxford has never failed to attract thousands of tourists and high school summer students from the world over who are ever fascinated with the history and beauty of the 'city of dreaming spires' that houses the oldest university in the English-speaking world.

Oxford University has no official date of establishment but teaching could have started as far back as 1096 (approx. 900 years ago). The university rapidly expanded since 1167 (approx. 50 years later) when King Henry II banned English students from attending University of Paris.

As I juggled two plastic bags, the product of today's shopping spree, I was stopped by a voice coming from beside me:

"Excuse me, do you know which way it is to the river?"

She said, while lifting her designer sunglasses off her eyes. Her lips glistened as they catch the sunlight, a sign that they are lathered with a thin layer of lipgloss. Her makeup was light, enhancing her naturally flawless face. I could not spot even a dot of imperfection. For all I knew, she could have been a movie star from Hong Kong.

"Which river?" I stammered, stunned by her beauty.

Her brows furrowed, deep in thought. A split second later, her face lighted up as she exclaimed, "The Thames River." Her lips curled into a smile, proud that she knew exactly what she was looking for.  Such beauty must belong to the Hong Kong movie industry.

It was then my turn to be deep in thought. Eventhough I have been a resident of this city for two years, I must admit alas shamefully, I still dot not know this city like the back of my hand. I looked around, attempting to orient myself, desperate to help.

Impatient with my deliberation, she then said "Is it this way?", while lifting her left arm to point towards St.Aldates, and to my horror, revealing a bush, underneath the junction between her immaculate arm and slim shoulder. Not a few strands of hair, or even many strands of hair, but literally a BUSH. A wild bush that must have not been unattended to for many months. How she was not distracted by it is unfathomable, it is beyond my imagination.

"Well..." I stuttered, shocked and dismayed with what I had just witnessed. "There is a river down St.Aldates but there is also a river down High Street. But I'm not sure what they are called or whether it is the same river. This city is surrounded by rivers!"

I said earnestly. I shouldn't have asked which river she is looking for if I didn't know the names of the rivers, I scolded myself. The city of Oxford is centered on Carfax, a cross-roads which forms the junction between four main streets: St. Aldates Street, High Street, Cornmarket Street and Queen Street. St. Aldates' center of attraction is Christ Church College, the most famous college of the university - the dining hall of Hogwart in the Harry Potter movies franchise was inspired by the Christ Church's dining hall (it was even believed that some scenes in the movie was shot in-situ, which I have yet to confirm because I was told that most of the scenes were actually shot in a replica of the dining hall in a studio) and the author of 'Alice in Wonderland', who was a professor of Mathematics at Christ Church, drew his inspirations for the story from the buildings and lawns of the college.    

Christ Church College - Its beautiful lawns and buildings provided inspirations for the makers of Harry Potter movies and the author of Alice in Wonderland

"Oh ok...." she said, she looked around her. Trying to decide which direction she should take. "Maybe I should just walk this way." lifting her arm again while pointing down St.Aldates.

I couldn't help but stared again at the bush. Is she teasing me? Or is this some sort of a prank? Is there a hidden camera nearby installed by a television show to catch the reactions of ordinary people like me towards a girl with a pretty face but not-so-pretty armpits? How could someone so polished - one who takes such great care of her face, has the time to put on makeup, and even has the money to travel, does not have the time to shave her armpits or the decency to cover them if she forgot to shave?

Please do not jump the guns by citing cultural differences. She looks like a movie-star, she must have seen alot of movies and advertisements splayed across the billboards or on television: Have you ever seen a girl with unshaved armpits on TV? No you have not, because it is NOT ACCEPTABLE for a girl to display her unshaved armpits. Unshaved armpits are NOT for public viewing. I swear I could smell the sweat lingering within her bush. 

"Sure. You'll see a river down there." I said. She thanked me and we parted ways.

Moral of the story: Do not be swayed by a pretty face. You never know what lies in her armpits!

And I am forever scarred for the rest of my life. LOL! :)

Question of the day: Do you agree that unshaved armpits are not public viewing?

1 comment:

  1. haha... lawak lah..
    selalu sgt awak envy dgn kejelitaan org lain..
    awak pun jelita juga.. make sure ur armpit keep shave.. XP